Courting the Parasympathetic Vagus Nerve Response ~ The Wise Woman Path to Birth Without Pain or Fear

The feminine archetype is the domain of the parasympathetic.

She is receptive. She rests. She digests. She chooses the sperm from the place of consciously receiving, not by being dominated or succumbing.

She also does not simply shut down, freeze, dissociate… There is a healthy vagal response, not one which becomes all encompassing, causing contraction AWAY from life and challenging stimuli.

Of course, the healthy Womban is able to both activate when needed, and be in repose when desired.

Our culture as a whole has a large demographic of people living in perpetual sympathetic overdrive. We live in fight or flight, racing to the finish line… living in a strong masculine dominant drive which is not healthy even for males to set up shop in.

For the ancient masculine, warrior archetype (which yes, some women engaged in throughout prehistory as well), the sympathetic response was reserved for that quick flash of action in the hunt, or to defend, or even in times of greater expense such as battle.

But the battle must end, the hunt resolve, and hopefully either scene will end with a feast. Rest, and digest.

The feminine, and the masculine in the pre-hunt pursuit/stalking phase, exists in a deeper brainwave state, predominated by the parasympathetic, primarily mitigated by the vagus nerve.

Of course, we also have a parasympathetic branch in the pelvis, and for the womb, it is particularly crucial to maintain a healthy response in this area as well. This quite literally allows us to root in to the Mother and have a healthy sacral response, that push/pull that comes from our electromagnetic connection to the Earth herself. This is the true source of instinct and even what some may consider intuition.

Modern medicine would list the pelvic splanchnic nerves as primarily nerves of communication between pelvic viscera and brain, having a role in the hormonal cascade of birth and beyond. What we often overlook is the importance of the healthy response of all nerve fibers, including autonomic, and sensory nerves, which can be dampened or deadened by trauma, physical restriction, or lesions of the nerves themselves. The pelvic nerves are a subject for an entire story all their own.

But the primary focus of parasympathetic activation is in the role of the vagus. This article is going to get rather intellectual here, but bear with me, because at the end, I’m going to tie it in for you with the world of physiologically normal birth, and I want you to get this… I truly do believe this nerve, and our nervous system as a whole, deserves our attention and some contemplation.

In India, they have long understood the role of this two-branched 10th cranial nerve which they called Ida and Pingala, the lunar and solar channels. They understood what we are now only beginning to understand about the importance of these nerves on the spiritual foundation for our growth as human beings. They show these nerves as if they were two serpents, crossing at the chakras, or energy centers, and meeting at the third eye, in the brain, where their consciousness can merge with the energy of the Susumna or central channel (the spinal cord) in order to open the Crown chakra. A lot of yogic study and inquiry goes into the activation of these three primary channels, and balancing their energies in the body.

While the connection remains somewhat nebulous, there is some relative mapping of the left and right vagus nerves (Ida and Pingala) and their relation to the anterior (front/ventral) and posterior (back/dorsal) portions of the vagus’ pathway. This is the modern concept created by Dr Steven Porges and Peter Levine call polyvagal theory, the understanding that the dorsal branch and ventral branch of the vagus act in somewhat different ways.

To put it simply, the dorsal (back) vagus is our more primitive vagal nerve, common to all animals including fish. Its response is responding to cues in a way which pulls us away from connection, out of awareness, and into a state of self-protection. It is the root of the “freeze” response. It can come in so strongly to counteract sympathetic arousal, that it can lead to dissociation, collapse, or the inability to think or emote clearly.

Typically, the dorsal vagus serves to help the body pendulate between activation and relaxation. But when it is trying to counteract an overactive sympathetic response, it can shut us down. In other words, it can be a trauma response.

Meanwhile the ventral (front) vagus is a newer addition that is found in mammals but not reptiles, birds or fish. Its response is to respond to cues by connecting and activating socially, fostering emotional safety and connection. This part of the vagus nerve system is predominated by the nerve’s pathway in the face and throat, relating to communication and social action/ engagement and self-expression. When we respond in a healthy way to stimuli, even challenge, we are able to activate fully into our healthy social engagement and proper attachment/bonding behavior. In other words, we are able to meet life and other beings even in difficult conversation where they are at, rather than fighting, fleeing, or freezing/dissociating.

To my best understanding, interestingly, the right branch of the vagus (the Pingala or Solar channel) runs to the front in the neck region, supplying these parasympathetic vagus nerve fibers to the larynx and pharynx, the organs of our expression. From there however, it is actually the left vagus nerve, the Ida/Lunar which travels through the anterior part of our thorax (abdomen), while the Solar channel continues along our back.

My theory of this is that this Yang energy of the Solar channel is more closely correlated to the motor nerves of the central nervous system in this region of the solar plexus chakra. Our soft belly, while theoretically the realm of outward action, is actually the more receptive side of this thoracolumbar region. That’s my best way of relating to this polyvagal theory anyway, and it certainly tracks well with my sentiments about the particular receptivity of the anterior of our body in this region to other people’s energy, despite the front side of our body generally being the domain of forward momentum and outward expression of will.

The vagus wanders from the medulla oblongata, down either side of the neck, wrapping itself around the heart, other organs, and trailing along the mesentery into the majority of the gut, sending fibers of its energy of repose (restfulness) into our very visceral response.

There, it meets the sacral parasympathetic branches of the pelvic splanchnic nerves, not directly touching of course, but dancing their dance of parasympathetic response in the space occupied by our womb, our iliopsoas muscles, and our gut.

We have to remember also, this is not a one way street, but rather, the nerves receive information in the form of pressure sensation, and carry impulses back to the brain which opens a hormone cascade. This is an important part of giving birth, and it’s also an integral part of courting the body’s capacity for balance.

So what does polyvagal theory have to do with the way womben, and those generally attuned to the feminine magnetic polarity, make decisions, the way we walk in the world?

The wounded feminine is in direct opposition to the wounded masculine. He dominates, is in perpetual war, constantly courting the sympathetic response, until He burns out, sometimes too late in the game after wars have decimated communities.

Meanwhile She collapses, involuting into a vacuum of dorsal vagal dominant freeze response. She fawns. She freezes. She encapsulates. She becomes a mess of adrenal fatigue and poor hormonal balance. Her grief crusts around her like the salt from the ocean which, ironically may be homeopathically part of her healing picture.

She fears social connection, or she fears conflict in connection, and thus is unable to do the real work of relating, which requires a give and take, and conflict resolution skill.

She becomes an island, attempting to do it alone, attempting to stand without community, even while she claims to desire this connection and safety net. She tends to push away that which she seeks, subconsciously, through subtle programs of sabotage, or through subtle or not subtle victim mentality.

Her very self protection becomes her undoing because it creates a distancing from the very medicine she needs. Community. Co-creation. Collaboration.

For the masculine side to be healthy and vital, we must de-stress our entire system, releasing the need to control and willfully bend fate to our personal desires. This isn’t to say that we give up on taking action entirely, but instead we marry our will to the desire for the good of our entire community. We recognize that only that which truly serves the whole, will serve us in our highest iteration.

For the feminine to be healthy and vital, she must build a healthy social response, releasing the collapse into excessive waiting, receptivity, inaction, and perhaps even victimization. She must learn to lean INTO conflict, rather than away, and how to discern true danger, from a perceived danger from an overly flighty or dissociative nervous system response.

Even in our self-preservation response of isolation, we lean away from a truly healthy and balanced parasympathetic response. What we are finding is that the parasympathetic actually responds faster than the sympathetic- milliseconds rather than seconds- allowing us to foster a deeply nourishing social activation response that allows us to find our true root in the Whole.

Through this response, we are able to more quickly respond to life, easily moving between active and passive states… between higher and deeper brainwave states. This is the fluidity that is the true domain of the feminine. The electromagnetic pulsation of the Earth herself, and likewise of our own crystalline electromagnetic bodies. We are meant to pulse. Active, passive, active, passive… with ease and grace.

The wounds of the feminine push us often into sympathetic overdrive and eventual dorsal vagal collapse. For many, the healing crisis then begins with an activation back into sympathetic, un-crusting that grief wound, finding her fire, pumping air and blood heat back into her horrendously dampened system. But she cannot remain there, either, or she will only collapse again, often pushing away her allies in the process, or alienating herself.

What she must do is court a healthy ventral vagal response, and learn to mitigate the two. Fire and Water, self and community, in a dance of wholeness.

Her medicine is in stepping out and realizing she was never meant to be an island. Our very societal fabric is woven from these threads of sympathetic nerves of entire populations of people caught in fight or flight. Our dog eat dog, man eat man world of “pick yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality was not created for safe social interaction. Of course the feminine eventually collapsed here. Of course she built an egg shell of protection, encased in mineral deposits which could give her soft belly a break from harsh realities.

But the medicine must be found none the less, not in forging a new path as a solo, masculine, entrepreneurial business woman of the modern age…

Her true medicine lies in her ability to story tell while weaving threads of polyvagal response, Sun AND moon threads, with her sisters around the collective loom. Many hands make light work, and together the feminine matriarchal archetype can rise again, courting the response of the deep repose alongside healthy social response… lunar receptivity and solar activity… the kind that does not burn like a wildfire blazing across the lands as the fiery sympathetic does… but instead the kind of heat which gently warms us from afar.

Our collective initiation right now calls us to healthy community. Setting down the reins altogether and learning to pick up the threads instead and weave. Let the horses run free. Gather as humans again on our own two feet, on our haunches, and babble in circle, telling stories of Sun gods and Moon goddesses while we weave their stories into our tapestries, wearing them proudly.

The womben sat and gathered, cooked, chatted and story wove while spinning and weaving.

They did not have businesses. They did not hunt for the next client. People came to the wise womban’s hut for healing or to seek her midwifing because they knew that she would be there, holding the circle together with the other womben, just existing in the repose that knows her own Source.

And from there, she acts.

“The midwife performs her work by doing nothing. She teaches without speaking a word. Things arise and she lets them come. Things leave and she lets them go. Creating, not possessing. Working, but laying no claim. And when her work is done, she releases it. And so it lasts forever. “

~Whapio, in her Wise Woman re-iteration from the Tao de Ching

Induce or Not? That is the Question!

This graphic may seem like a simplistic little flow chart. I mean, surely it isn’t that simple is it?

Of course there is nuance… and lots to consider.

But I still encourage you to get back to basics. Because sometimes, less is more.

Induce or not? That is the question!

What is Undisturbed, Empowered Birth?

An undisturbed and empowered birth sounds wonderful doesn’t it? 

What do these words evoke for you?

In my years of attending births, and three of my own births, this meaning has changed and evolved from what I once was led to believe in the birth arts practice. 

I’d love to share with you a bit of my own journey with these ideas to give you a sense of what I think people in the birthing community are getting right, and where they may not.

My journey with birth has been unique because my first birth at the tender age of 22 with my oldest son was the most undisturbed of all. I had a midwife, in Hawaii, and because of strange Mercury retrograde circumstances, she didn’t make it to the birth in time, and in fact we didn’t get ahold of anyone for a good two hours after! Yet what was seemingly a mistake was actually the greatest gift, as I was able to experience what a truly primal, undisturbed, instinctual and empowered birth feels like. I moved where my body wanted me, I made sounds like my body wanted to, I even throat sang with more power than I’ve ever heard in my voice! It was incredible. And it was the ultimate lesson in what a woman is capable of when she has few preconceived notions of what birth should be like, and when she has no choice but to simply do it. We fumbled a bit after he emerged, of course, but overall it went beautifully, and we did what our instincts told us to. My husband was also a champ about it, considering that he was definitely more in his mind than I was. 

It was, of course, a precipitous labor, only four hours long. But I believe after watching women birth, that most anyone can experience something similar to what I did. The problem is not in the woman or her physiology, but in the well meaning but intrusive ways in which caregivers involve themselves in the birthing process. It isn’t that all involvement is wrong, but the simple truth is that the more distractions a woman experiences, the harder it is for her to drop into the altered state of birth. 

And that is what birth is: An altered state. The woman’s brainwaves can go back and forth between beta, alpha, and delta rather quickly… but the deepest knowing and connection to the universe, and the brainwaves of the baby, are in delta.  This is where a person is no longer in the monkey thinking mind, but in a deeper place of receiving… the state of Knowing. This is where the primal, instinctive, intuitive part of us can take over… connected to both the instincts of our animal bodies, and the higher knowing perhaps of what some may call the universal mind. 

When a woman is in this unbridled state, her body knows just what it needs to move the baby through. My birth with my son was especially free in this way. At one point I asked my husband to hang me by my elbows, him standing behind me. At other points I moved in different ways, within and outside the birthing pool. I wasn’t thinking at that point; there was no intellectual decision… it was simply coming from a place of knowing, and immediate action, even allowing me to verbalize what I wanted without leaving that state.

However I found it incredibly different 7 years later when I birthed my daughter, this time with a midwife and her assistant present. They did their best, and were the same in their manner as the midwives I had attended births with some years earlier… but nonetheless, I found their need for light, their little whispers in the other room, their need to check on me and chart and “know” my progress, to be disturbing to my ability to get into that same primal place. I was much more in my head during that birth, and I learned yet another valuable lesson. I realized that even in my attending of births, we had likely done all manner of things which intruded on a mama’s ability to drop into herself, simply by our need to insert ourselves into the room with our own beta brainwave state of thinking, charting, speaking, etc.  The trick, I realized, was to be able to join a mama in Delta brain, rather than expect her to constantly meet us in Beta. 

There is another pivotal moment when many women are disturbed, a key time which few caregivers understand physiologically or spiritually. This is the time just after transition, when the mama’s cervix finally made it those last couple centimeters to complete; this stage is called the Quietude. 

The typical medical model, which even many midwives seem to live by, is that when a woman is complete, its time to push. However, in a truly undisturbed birth, a miraculous thing happens. The woman enters a resting phase. Her body slows down or stops contractions for a period of minutes, or even longer for some women. My teacher had one mama once who had a 7 hour pause! And then…out came baby, no problem, happy and healthy! 

Physiologically, the baby is actually doing something as well in this time, a very important phase in which the baby internally rotates to turn the shoulders through the midpelvis, past the ischial spines, to prepare for lifting the head over the perineum in the act we call “crowning”.  Yes, the baby itself is partly responsible for this crowning, by extending his/her neck, essentially lifting the head till it is above the perineum! The modern medical model seems to simply gloss over this important cardinal movement of the baby, and a surprising number of practitioners don’t seem to realize the importance of giving the baby and mama time to complete this movement prior to pushing.  When we encourage a woman to push at this stage, she actually may end up with a much longer pushing phase and even an arrest of labor, because the baby’s shoulders haven’t been able to rotate properly to clear the ischial spines. And, we also rob the woman of a much needed rest, and a moment where many women actually receive a huge download about their baby. Many women, when given this sacred pause, report that during this quietude they received immense layers of understanding about their baby, about themselves, visions of their child or other incredible things. This is a sacred pause for a reason… after the most difficult part of the labor, and before finally meeting their baby. It has a holy purpose. 

So what is an undisturbed birth? 

It is a birth in which a woman (and her birth partner) are able to step out of the mental, and into the heart of knowing, and the Delta brain wave state. It is there that we as birthing mamas, or as caregivers, are able to access the state of the baby as well, and Feel and Know if baby and mama are doing ok, rather than constantly having to rely on our instruments or even mental observations. 

Of course, this doesn’t mean there isn’t a time or place for fetal heart tone monitoring, or cervical checks… however the more I move along in my practice and personal experience the more I realize that 99% of the time that these checks are done, they’re more for the sake of meeting the caregivers needs. These needs may include the need to alleviate fear or anxiety in the caregiver, the need to meet state requirements to monitor the labor, or the need to simply be “useful” by doing something. Few caregivers seem to feel comfortable with doing nothing for long periods of time, out of both anxiety and a need to justify their being paid to be there. 

Imagine if these “needs” were no longer there. What would a caregiver do instead? The reality is that the majority of the time…they would do nothing! They would sit in the corner or perhaps even outside the room, quietly, dropping into a meditative state perhaps to simply observe from the vantage point of Spirit, and monitor things that way! They would allow the woman herself or her partner to “catch” the baby… or perhaps allow the mama to simply let the baby naturally fall from a squat position onto the bed. Perhaps the most the midwife would do is deftly put a chux pad under the mama when baby emerges, to keep the bedding clean!

The mother herself would be allowed the time to choose to pick up her baby. No one telling her “now pick up your baby!”… she would be given that golden moment to emerge from the depths, with the knowing that baby is just fine as he/she is also in Delta brain wave and is not being damaged in any way by that golden pause after delivery. Mama looks down, suddenly remembering that she gave birth…sees her baby…and CHOOSES her baby…reaches down and picks him/her up and brings baby to her belly or her chest, and eventually perhaps allowing baby to naturally crawl to the breast, or placing him/her there herself. She instinctively knows what to do, and when to attempt to breastfeed. No one needs to coach her to do so. She is a woman, born to do this!

The truth is, we pay big money to our doctors, midwives, and/or doulas to be present at our birth. They are there if we truly need them and ASK for their help. We birth attendants are available to help you remember your power when you are questioning it. To gently and quietly remind you that intense transition, right before birth is imminent, is when so many women say “I can’t go on!”  We are available for you to boss us around and say “hang me by my elbows!” or to help you get into any other position you need. We will even catch the baby if you want us to. But none of these are things we should be doing because it’s what we think we “should” be doing… but because the mama asked directly, or its clear that it is what our Knowing says we ought to do in that moment. This is a finesse of Knowing they cannot teach in medical or even midwifery school.  And while many women walk away from their births satisfied because they had a healthy outcome, few may realize that they were subtly robbed of oportunities to CHOOSE their power, to CHOOSE their baby, and to KNOW themselves and receive the download of the quietude. Women may even walk away from their births feeling a need to do it again, because on a subconscious level, they know they have not received the full lesson about their own empowerment as Woman. 

Do women NEED a midwife, a doula, or a doctor then?  The answer is: not always! I have had two blissful free births without an attendant. And, I also recognize this choice is not for everyone. It’s worth it to have someone there who can assist as needed, advocate for you so you don’t have to mentally advocate for yourself in the case of transport or otherwise, and generally be there as a supportive body if you want to choose different positions. And of course, if there were a complication, which can happen even to a healthy woman and child, we are there to help. It’s important for both families and practitioners to recognize the inherent value in this, and not to downplay this value, while also allowing for the beauty of a truly undisturbed and empowered birth to take place in the majority of physiologically normal cases.  And, we are always there to help clean up, get mama to bed, and eventually check on the baby and bring her a nourishing drink and meal when she is ready. We are there to catch what isn’t normal, so that you can enjoy completely what is.